Monica Geuze on learning to love yourself

It’s time to break the taboo around self-love, says Monica Geuze, founder of SOPHIA MAE. If anyone knows how to express self-love, it’s her. Her greatest wish is for everyone to look at themselves with confidence every day. After all, everyone has something unique, something beautiful that deserves to be celebrated every day.

Self-love is an important topic for SOPHIA MAE and for you. What does self-love mean to you?

"For me, self-love means putting yourself first — that is always the goal, though it can be difficult to do day in and day out. However, it’s important to keep reminding yourself of this, because it’s so easy to put yourself last. SOPHIA MAE serves as a tool for me to constantly remind myself how important it is to take good care of myself. I also always think: you would take good care of your loved ones, making sure they eat well, exercise, and sleep enough, so why not give yourself that same love and care?"

When did you discover how important it is to love yourself and take good care of yourself?

''The idea that loving yourself so much that you also take good care of yourself came very naturally. As I get older, I realize more and more that everyone around me benefits much more when I feel good about myself. I can only be this version of myself if I take good care of me. As far as I’m concerned, you can’t start too early."

When do you think you are the most beautiful?

"It’s quite strange that it’s so hard to answer that question about yourself when you can name a hundred things about your best friend that you find beautiful or admirable. But I do know when I feel the best — and that’s when I take good care of myself. When I wear clothes I feel comfortable in, they always look better. When I have my hair done at the salon and take the time to put on my makeup, I feel at my best and most empowered. And, of course, after at least eight, preferably nine, hours of sleep."

Is there anything you are proud of when you look at your personality?

"I am proud of my ability to never hold a grudge. I also have a pretty large capacity for empathy. Of course, I sometimes wonder why someone has chosen to handle a situation in a certain way, but I can always put myself in someone else's shoes. That helps me enormously to not hold on to negative feelings towards others. If for any reason it doesn’t work out between us, I’ll simply distance myself from them. I always think: no hard feelings, but I’ll keep my distance now."

Is that also a form of self-care for you, distancing yourself from people who don’t make you happy?

"Absolutely. In the past, I had a tendency to want to be liked by everyone, and I wanted my group of friends to be as large as possible. Now, that’s much less important to me. In the end, you can’t keep everyone as a friend, and that’s not a bad thing. It brings a lot of peace to have a smaller circle around you—even if it means the only two friends you have don’t always have time for you, haha. But then I just spend an evening with myself."

You sometimes say that you could be best friends with yourself or that you would marry yourself if you could. What exactly do you mean by that?

"It would actually be strange if I said, “I don’t understand why people would want to be friends with me.” I prefer to say: I think I’m a pretty fun friend. I think I can be trusted and I’m always there for my friends. These are qualities I’d expect from a friend, so why wouldn’t I work on being like that myself?"

Is that also the reason you once bought yourself an engagement ring?

"Yes and no. I have to admit: I just love everything that shines. As a young girl, I never dreamed of marrying someone, although I don’t rule out that it could happen one day, but it’s not a specific wish. However, I find nothing more beautiful than love, and I also find the idea of getting engaged very romantic. When my last relationship ended and I was really sad about it, I came up with the idea of treating myself to a ring that would normally be seen as an engagement ring. I thought it would be nice to buy that for myself as a kind of reminder of the love you should give yourself. In the end, you are the one you have to spend your whole life with, so why not?"